Forever Changed - Poem written for Writer's Craft class

Forever Changed

My mind rushed as I listened to what he said.

It felt like I had suddenly been plagued with a disease;

I felt dizzy, weak and paralyzed by the words he spoke.

He held my hand, whispering that it would be better for both of us.

His eyes were addictive, drawing me in.

I took his words in, drinking them like anti-freeze: sweet but deadly.

Tears streamed down my face as I wondered what had gone wrong.

I nodded my head, still lost in his beauty.

I kissed his perfect lips;

the salt from my tears were touching my lips, slipping softly into my mouth,

reminding me again of the reality of this moment.

“Why? Why now?”

I screamed in my mind, imprisoning them within me, never to let them escape.

I had to accept the truth: it was over.

I turned away, slamming the door of his car behind me.

He stole a part of me and I was forever changed.

The L-Card

Days like these make me wonder about things... like why I go on so many dates but still come up empty on the "lasting relationship" scale.

Seriously, my successful relationship ratio is looking pretty sad right now.

At the beginning of last year, my friends and were sprawled across my bed, laughing about our lives and wondering about how our future would look. As we were laughing, thinking, and discussing, we realized that none of us had told a guy that we love them. We realized that this situation was rare and that we need to embrace our independence by creating honorary "L-Cards" to keep until we give away our love to that special someone.

Through last year, one of us got a boyfriend, but none of us gave away that special card. Throughout this second year, though, all of my friends got a boyfriend and as of just a few hours ago, I found out that the last of my friends' L-cards would soon be given away to their significant others.

Though this may seem insignificant, and kind of silly to you but what that means is I'm the lone-standing L-card holder.

Though I may top list for most dates out of my close group of friends, I am the only one out of them to not find that someone special.

Maybe I have a fear of love, or maybe I'm just wise and cautious, but love is not something that you give out like dollar-store candy. It's precious. It's meant for that one person that you don't want to ever have to live without but that you would, without a doubt, give your life for.

So now my L-card and I are riding solo... and I will continue to drive until I find a co-pilot who's willing to enrich my journey.

Knowing the Game

Many of my friends are amazed at my skill. I can easily send out the bate, catch them with just a nibble and draw them in. They never know that I have another on the line.

No, I'm not talking about fish, although that would give my situation a much greater amount of clarity. No, I am talking about men -- a different species. Like seafood, men can be both rich and delicious, but too much at once is ever a good thing.

This blog is window from which I am allowing you to view the chaos of my dating life.

As you will see, my relationships with men have been everything from amazing to humorous, to grimicingly painful. My goal in sharing these moments with you is not only for your entertainment but also for a bit of an education.

There are many things that I have done that I wish I could take back, and a few men that I wish I had told "no." So consider me to be your sister -- the one who has made all the mistakes for you.

Enjoy my stories and thoughts. Post comments and ask questions.

Your sister, Date, is here.